July 05 , 2016
Unfortunately, the ‘together’ part is the problem. Your love interest lives five hours away.
Still, you’ve both decided to make a go of it and enter the murky waters of long distance dating. The thing is, you’re just not sure how to keep the romance alive when you’re apart.
Here are some great ideas to help keep that fire kindled when the miles threaten to destroy that spark.
Ignore the naysayers
How many times have you told someone your significant other lives across the state, or in another country? Chances are, you’ve gotten plenty of laughter, eye rolls and predictions of failure.
One of the biggest misconceptions about long distance relationships is that they don’t work. However, if you think about it, you can live in the same town as someone, and that relationship might not work out, either. Dating is not about how close or far you are from someone; it’s about how compatible you are. “Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful; it’s for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love.” — Meghan Daum
Get a good phone plan
As in any relationship, success is dependent on good communication. So, hook up your bluetooth, look at different chat apps on your phone, and brush up on your texting skills.
Some couples try to plan specific times to talk. For instance, it might help to check in during your commute to and from work or during lunch breaks. On the other hand, don’t forget that impulsivity is just as important sometimes. Sometimes, a quick text to tell the other person you’re thinking about them, or a short email recapping your favorite part of your last visit together helps keep the excitement up.
“Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.”— Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
Tune in and turn it up
Let your inhibitions fly a little and give voice to your fantasies about being together. Maybe you’re daydreaming about a quickie in the train station bathroom when you arrive, or some middle of the night passion on a beach.
Sexting is fun way to send quick messages telling him what you plan to do the next time you’re together or to recap your last steamy encounter. In fact, you may find that by focusing on your words through texts, emails or on the phone helps your communication skills when you’re together.
Use your words to paint pictures, though, and keep your risqué photos to a minimum. Just ask US politician Anthony Weiner how damaging a handful of naked pictures can be when they fall into the wrong hands.
“If need be, you can live in my heart…rent free…all utilities included.”— Grace Nagar
On those occasions when you are both able to be together, make sure you minimize the distractions and make the most of your time together. Skip working through the weekend, turn your phone to vibrate and step away from the social media vacuum.
Tell him funny stories and ask him about his favorite things. Snuggle. Watch sappy movies.
Wake up early and watch the sunrise together, only to fall back to sleep—together—when the sun is up.
“Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire.”— Francois de la Rouchefoucauld
Look around for support
Sometimes, when you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to think you’re the only one experiencing that very thing… that very sensation of amazement or happiness, as well as the feeling of solitude when you’re apart.
Interestingly, there are many different resources you may want to look into for encouragement and suggestions.
The internet, for example, is ripe with support sites and other tips. Check out http://lovingfromadistance.com/, and http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/ for additional tips, resources, games and other fun activities.
“How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard?”— A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
Long distance relationships can be difficult to manage at times. But if you are committed to each other, keep communicating when apart and make the most of your time together, the rewards can be oh, so sweet.
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