Lakshmi Rebecca is a filmmaker, anchor and vlogger. She runs India’s first award-winning Youtube channel, is a travel vlogger, runs an audio podcast series called India Startup Chat and blogs about life. She is single girl and a creative entrepreneur. Check out her work at www.lakshmirebecca.com
Forget dinners, long drives, drinks or movies. Coffee is just the best recipe for a first date! Here’s why!
1. You are SOBER!
Ain’t that the best reason in the world? That you are clear headed (and hopefully not returning from a rowdy drinking-binge at brunch) and your judgement is as good as it will get. You can see the person for who they really are and you won’t be going showing pictures on your phone in which you were unforgettably cozy with your ex on the last holiday or making overt gestures in a hurry. And if you had the slightest inkling to bitch about the ex, you’d probably hold your tongue on that one too because you’d realize that you hardly know the person sitting across from you. This is after all just the first conversation and over an innocent little cup of coffee.
2. You DON’T have to DRESS UP
Imagine that! No need to spend time worrying about what to wear; about which style would be appropriate for a particular dinner or drink venue when you don’t even know much about the person you are about to meet! Nah, with coffee, you could go straight from work in your work wear or simply wear a tee and a pair of jeans. Voila! It’s time for that coffee date!
3. COFFEE MEANS CONVERSATION
Yep, you and the other person have to express ideas, share experiences and make interesting conversation. No pretending behind loud music or the influence of alcohol. And if the date cannot keep you engaged enough in an intelligent conversation or you can’t seem to say anything that interests him or her, well, you’d find out very soon and there will be no need for another meeting with the girl who can only talk about clothes or with the guy who only praises himself.
4. Coffee SPARES you from A DRAMATIC EXIT
In case the first conversation starts to go nowhere and you start to feel a yawn come on, 45 minutes is a good enough time duration after which to exit politely without needing too much of thinking. Imagine if you were at a dinner instead, you’d be stuck for at least an hour and a half in bad company and unless you had a back up plan and arranged for a friend to call pretend-announcing a grandparent or pet’s accident, you could exit hastily and with a valid and non-embarrassing reason. You could just say you’ve got gym or work afterwards and will have to leave on the dot at the end of the hour or 45 minutes. No need for a dramatic exit!
5. You can TALK about ENOUGH THINGS
You could talk about the couple at the next table, or your last holiday or about what you read in the paper that morning or something nice that happened at work that day. There will be just so much to talk about over coffee when the conversation sparks start flying.
6. You can MAKE A PLAN for another meeting
Yep, if the coffee date goes well and the conversation left a smile on your face, you could plan to meet for dinner or a movie! And you will know for sure that your judgement about a second meeting was right, done in soberness and broad daylight when no one was trying too hard with their appearances or slurring over one-too-many a drink.
7. It is the Most HARMLESS WAY TO MEET
Coffee, is hands down, the most harmless way to meet somebody new. You are sitting in a café where there are lots of other people around and it is probably around 4 or 6pm and there is usually a plan for afterwards (that doesn’t involve this new date), so it can be concise, precise, appropriate, light, friendly and can offer all the right perspectives on you and your date in the first hour. Simple.
8. Leave it at JUST COFFEE AND REFLECT
Leaving it at just coffee the first time and not leading on into other things right away – something someone as spontaneous as me is very tempted to do – gives you time to step back and reflect over the next few hours or days before the next meeting. Reflect on the subtle clues and bold statements. Reflect on what you are seeking from this person and what the date is offering. Reflect to keep it honest, simple and comfortable within your own self.
Keep it simple with Coffee.
UnSingle on TrulyMadly! Download here.