A Dummies Guide to French (kissing)

ira picIra Trivedi is a best selling author of India in Love. When not contemplating modern love, she can be found practicing yoga at Namami Yoga. 
This article is written as part of a series called A Dummies Guide to Dating.
The movies make it seem like the easiest and most natural thing in the world. The reality is a little different. Kissing is an art form, and like any art form, it must be studied, practiced and it takes time, sometimes-even years to get this art perfected.
Art form aside, kissing is also important because a first kiss usually marks the end of dating and the beginning of a relationship.
How can you make that first kiss, that first impression, something to remember?
– Oral hygiene
This sounds like a banal and obvious point, but alas I only wish it were. I strongly urge all dating boys and girls in anticipation of their first kiss to carry chewing gum, mints (strong ones, not Mentos) and any other convenient forms of mouth fresheners with you. Indian food has a lot of onion and garlic, and a stinky kiss is no way to start a relationship. Along with oral hygiene, don’t forget lip hygiene. It is no fun kissing dry, chapped, or cracked lips. Carrying a tube of Vaseline is not effeminate; on the other hand it’s a good signal. It makes her think that you’re serious about your lips, the kiss, and her.
– Let her kiss you first
I strongly believe that the girls should initiate the first kiss. Boys assume that girls are shy, and so often make the first move themselves. This won’t work in your favor. It often leads girls to believe that you’re just trying to get into her pants. If you really like her, then you will wait. And if she really likes you, trust me, she will kiss you.
A pointer for the girls here. DON’T be PRUDE. It is very 1975. If you like him, and feel that a relationship is possible, that first kiss will mark your entry into relationship zone, unless you want to be stuck in dating limbo forever. If you make the first move, he won’t think that you have a loose character (and if he does think that, dump him right away) he will instead admire your confidence. He will also knows who controls the pace of the relationship.
– Make it soft
This is more for boys than for girls. Don’t throw yourself at her, and DON”T act desperate by getting too intense too fast. Be slow, be gentle, and be genteel. Start out slow and soft and let the kiss grow over time.
– To close or not to close your eyes?
It is weird to have your eyes open. Close your eyes. The most beautiful things are not seen by the eyes, but felt by the heart.
-Practice makes perfect.
Find a friend, a dog, a stranger, a stuffed animal. Do what it takes to get the technique down. Watch videos if you must.
-When it comes to the tongue
Keep it in your mouth. Little butterfly touches say more than an anaconda invading alien territory.  On the tongue note. Make an impact with your subtlety not with your saliva.
-To tilt or not to tilt?
This is not something that one thinks about, but it can lead to a disastrous and embarrassing head on collision. During the lift off process take a second to gauge which way his/her head is tilting so you can adjust yours accordingly.
-You don’t kiss with just the lips.
You kiss with your whole body. Every inch of you should be involved in that kiss, especially your hands. Don’t just think about the 3 B’s (breasts, boobs and butt) so something creative. Stroke her hair, play with her ear lobes, touch her neck.
-Keep him/her wanting more.
Stop just as it gets good. She/he will be pining for more.
– Be mindful
Enjoy every moment of it, as opposed to focusing on being scared, or nervous, or thinking of what more you can do to get into her pants.
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