Anchor,Actress,Singer, Dancer, Dreamer. That’s Shibani Dandekar in 140 characters for you.
Dating seems fairly easy. You like someone, he likes you back, you both show up on a date and have a good time. Right? Not quite.
Let’s take a quick throwback on your previous dates. Have you ever pretended to be someone you weren’t, just to impress him? Or were you the one who kept contacting him when he was clearly blowing you off?
You aren’t alone. I’ve committed quite a few dating mistakes somewhere along the way. If you are trying to make a new relationship work, try not to avoid a deja vu of your previous dating mistakes… or mine!
1. When I stayed on a date with someone just so I don’t hurt his feelings
Pleasing people is a dangerous trait especially if honesty is the most important factor in your relationship. Every relationship contract actually should have a disclaimer clause that states: Your feelings could get hurt. There was the initial spark with this guy, but not long lasting enough to make me want to see him again.
My takeaway from this: Dragging a relationship long enough would cause more pain than if you break it up when you realize it’s not what you are looking for. Remember, breakups suck, but are sometimes necessary.
2.When I stalked my date online, only to reveal it all during the date
This one’s gold! I solely blame technology for this. I realized halfway through the date, I revealed stuff about him that I’d stalked his tweets. This sure made him very uncomfortable, and predictably, there was no second date.
My takeaway from this: Sure, googling in the digital age is totally allowed but only if you charmingly reveal it.
3. When I felt he’s too good to be true
There’s that wild, inexplicable connection you have from the moment you met. If he talks like you are the most incredible thing to happen to Planet Earth since Kim Kardashian, slow down. Time will tell if he is just another player or the real deal.
My takeaway from this: Take a step back. If he’s worth the wait, he’ll be more than willing to play the waiting game. You don’t want to be licking your wounds (and salty tears).
4. When I avoided the fact that there was no real connection.
For years, I always thought that the point of a date was to charm and attract him. I would indulge in hilarious work stories or immerse in a self-campaigning mode to show my best side. Now that I look back, I realize this technique would in no way get a guy to know the real me. Where’s the connection then?
My takeaway from this: Intuition is a real thing, so trust yours. Walk away, instead of staying under an illusion.
5. When being busy to date was a valid reason.
Sure, we all lead busy lives. By pushing yourself to the brink, it’s never a healthy thing to do especially if you have an erratic schedule like mine. We all have been a victim of bad timing at least once in our lives. Don’t lose yourself just because you are with someone else.
My takeaway from this: It’s no one’s fault if timing was not on your side. It’s just the way things worked out…or didn’t. To quote Robin Scherbatsky, ‘’If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing- timing, but timing’s a bitch.’’
After all the mistakes I’ve made, I think it’s best to laugh it off, shrug and walk away. Take off those rose coloured glasses and watch out for the red flags! Maybe the next date will be patient enough to give me a second shot. Here’s to moving on!
Kick start 2016 by UnSingling on TrulyMadly! Download now.