Loves everything simple and everything straight. Ex IT Journo, Digital Marketing Manager. Wine Lover & Beer Guzzler. Loves to write and is a total bibliophile. Meet Mitchelle Rozario Jansen.
We love making lists, don’t we? 5 ways to do this, 6 ways not to do that, 10 things to complete today, 100 things to do before your 100, and what not! Lists help us organize our days, our methods, our habits. They can be a saving grace for an otherwise chaotic world.
Here’s the psychologically behind lists: Creating a list helps us take in information in small quantities rather than trying to fit all of together. Sometimes, we do the same when it comes to relationships. Instead of looking at it in a holistic manner, we break down qualities we seek in our partner and create a check list that can be ticked, and if the person fails to fit the bill we assume he / she isn’t the one.
True love stories barely ever begin with a list, some of the most romantic couples I’ve met barely have anything in common and if they were put through a checklist wouldn’t have made the cut. So, here’s a lists…(I know, can’t help it) of the reasons checklists just do not work when it comes to relationships.
1. Makes you picky:
More often than not, first impressions are wrong. If you have a checklist for your would-be partner and it has any particular physical pointers, you’ll be completely oblivious to a great guy / girl who doesn’t necessarily fit your physical appearance criteria, but is a perfect fit overall.
2. Makes you unrealistic:
A woman wants a tall guy, blonde hair, fit body, funny, intellectual, sensitive, caring, blah, blee, the list goes on and on. No body is perfect, and life is not an episode out of The Bachelor. If you’re going to go out looking for Mr. Perfect, here’s an advice: Don’t. He does not exist. Instead, you should find the imperfect guy, who makes your life perfect.
3. You may be missing out on something real:
Some of the best romantic couples I know, have nothing in common. The guy is nothing like her type, or the girl is just s out of his league. But, they are together and they are making it work. Some say opposites attract and sometimes being two peas in a pod is the best thing to have. Whatever it is, don’t let checklists deprive you of a true love story.
Sometimes the Mr. Right or Miss Right quest is only a way to avoid getting into the game. It keeps us from being vulnerable or entering the field again. Ask yourself if it is worth taking a risk to find someone who could be your imperfect match.
So do away with checklists that could stop you from finding The One. Instead, broaden your horizon and give a person one chance to sweep you off your feet. Your true love story is waiting to happen, go get emm…
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