Hi, it’s Niki.
Always say meow instead of hello.
The best things in the world are felines, chocolates, mermaids and beaches.
“If I had an empty head, as some folks say I do,
I’d sweep out all the cobwebs and rent it out to you,
And have you fill it up with all the things you say and do,
Then I’d offer twice the price, and rent it back from you.”
Loathe him or love him, masterthinker on the ideologies of sexuality, Sigmund Freud said, “The sexual life of adult women is a dark continent for psychology.” He also said that sex is a prime motivator and common denominator for all of us and that human beings are sexual beings from the start. Agree?
Debate and debunk his ideals all you want, but come on guys, we all know that being enchanted by the female form has been a fixation for society for centuries; not only do men admire women, women also admire other women. But it’s as sure as water is wet- men are hardwired to check women out – a primal instinct, if you may – and those who say they don’t – pfft. Lies.
After that loaded little intro, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of it – women, and the effort and effect of first impressions on men – what is he thinking when he gives you that smooth practiced once over and what is it about you that makes him go yay or nay.
Appearances take effort okay, – whether it’s the habitual quick swish of the eyeliner or a more elaborate blowout and manicure, – and mind you, it’s not just to appease the opposite sex. But yes okay, date night requires that little extra rainbow dust to exude that incandescent charm (secret’s out, guys!).
So question is, how much of it is noticed? What parts of your carefully conditioned attributes are picked up on his radar and what is it about you that’s a deal maker or breaker? Wanna know? Here we go:
Your Smile: Yep, he notices your mouth – your face is your most expressive feature and your attitude is communicated through the genuinity of your smile, – big smile, you’re friendly and easy going; tight smile, you’re possibly shy and underconfident; small smiles; you’re maybe coy or a little “come hither”; no smile, um, no thanks.
Your body: Yes the non-superficialist in anyone will never concur, but men notice build. Whether they prefer skinny to the bone or curvy to the throne, they assess that physical attribute.
And yeah okay fine, beauty is only skin deep and all, but we’re talking about first impressions here – you can’t seriously expect him to fall in love with your personality in the first five minutes.
Your eyes: Très important! They’re like pools into the depths of your soul. A touch theatrical – but among other things, he does notice your eyes – too much eye make up? Beautiful lashes? Colour?
Your eyes give away maximum emotion, and eye contact during conversation is vital, it’s where subconscious subliminal signals are given off.
Flirt with your eyes, girls – go old school, fluttering is cute, coyness is underrated and narrowing them, playful.
Your speech: voice, eloquence, accent, vocabulary, pauses, pitch and tone. A guy WILL notice the way you talk, – it’s the most obvious form of communication and the way you express yourself is a definitive deal maker, breaker.
Do you sound obnoxious? Is your tone condescending? Do you laugh often? Are you soft and sweet? Do you use a lot of ‘um’ and ‘like’ – a tad flaky, don’t do it. Do you talk fast, slow? Do you even listen?
He will characterize you by you talk. Speech and voice are big giver-awayers on the constitution of personality.
Your boobs and butt: Obviously. It’s in their biological programming. Do not delude yourself into thinking “Oh he’s not like that”. Guys fall into two categories – booty or bosom – either or, they will be doing that quick sweep over both.
We’re not all Kim Kardashian endowed so whether you’re bold braving a little cleavage, modest and mysterious, or cladding that derriere in the skin fits, he is looking, checking, thinking – so be aware of how proudly or leaving-it-to-the-imagination you present them on the first date.
Whatever you do, keep it classy.
Your overall style: He’s gonna notice this first. What you’re wearing, how you’re carrying it off and whether he likes it or not – an ultra skimpy dress on a first date? Doesn’t matter if it’s Balmain, its a little attention-grabby – and not just his. Jeans and a top? Casual, sexy.
Your personal style speaks volumes of you – whether you’re high maintenance- brand-conscious, a comfortable girl next door, a retro hipster or boho chic. He judges instantly.
Shoes, make up and nails: He’ll notice. Keep the footwear utilitarian please, we don’t want no trippin’over six inches. But hey, a little heel goes a long way – stilettos, wedges or kitten heels add height, and spruce up the sexy factor a notch. They also improve posture and lengthen them legs; he doesn’t know this, but he will take in its mediated effects. It’s totally cool if you’re comfortable in ballet flats too though.
And ladies, please, for goodness sake, have presentable, non chewed, clean finger nails and no ghastly chipped remnants of last weeks polish. Such a turn off.
As for make up, don’t plaster on foundation till you’re six shades lighter, – faux pas! Keep the face paint, er, enhancements, low key.
Your attitude: Numero uno important, ladies. It may not be the first thing he notices, but it is the most important. The poise and openness you radiate is quintessential. Whether you are warm and friendly or shy and inexpressive – he will take notes. There is absolutely nothing, nothing that is more attractive to a man than your charismatic confidence.
Now go, exploit these to your advantage, oh, but remember mi chicas, don’t overdo or underplay it, and the best (even rendered) version of you is always you!
Now that you know how to create an impression, it’s time to UnSingle! Get the TrulyMadly app now.