Ira Trivedi is a best selling author of India in Love. When not contemplating modern love, she can be found practicing yoga at Namami Yoga.
This article is written as part of a series called A Dummies Guide to Dating.
So you’ve texted with panache, gone on a couple of dates and are wondering how to take things to the next level. Holding hands sounds simple, but it often the FIRST step in your intimate relationship and if you get this wrong, your future romantic life is in jeopardy, Hand holding can be very scary, very intimate and also very very sexy and romantic. Get it right by following some simple rules below.
– Hand Hygiene.
There is nothing grosser than dirty hands and gritty fingernails. Before your date, make sure your hands are washed and your nails are cut. Some basic hygiene will go a long way.
– Clammy Palms
Are the worst. If you’re very nervous and you just can’t control, then I suggest you don’t hold her/his hand till your situation improves.
– Hand on top?
Or hand on the bottom? If you want to take charge of the process,hand on the bottom. This will give you access to some techniques like scratching, and stroking.
– Let her lead you
Boys this is for you. It’s kinda sexy to let her have control of the handholding. Let her decide when to hold on or to let go.
-Just the right pressure
A little squeeze now and then is perfect. Wringing her/his hand does not translate into describing the extent of your feelings.
– The Scratch
The sexiest part of handholding is the titillating little games you can play. Try the palm scratch first to gauge reaction. If he/she reacts well, you can move on to the others. If the reaction is negative, do more prep by more handholding.
– The Stroke
Just because you are using one hand, doesn’t mean that you can’t use the other one. Use your other hand to stroke the hand you are already holding. Little interludes like this keep hand holding exciting and interesting
– The Knuckle Massage
The points in between the knuckles are ergonomic zones of the body. Take full advantage of that by massaging those points slowly and gently
You may not have arrived at kissing yet, but you can certainly kiss the back of the palm. This is mighty sexy.
-The Fingertip Nibble
It is a well-known tip that the ends of the fingers have more nerve endings than any other part in the body. Finger nibbling is a brazen step. Its worth a try but boys, keep a towel handy, you may get a glass of water thrown in your face.
Some alternatives and additions to hand holding
– Arm in arm action- There is nothing more delicately erotic than linking arms with a man. Boys, you must extend your arm out (and build arm strength to hold it there) so she can place her arm on top of it.
– Playing footsie- A nice little thing to do when you’re holding hands.
Other variations with almost equal impact.
– Arm around shoulder. Arm around waist
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