Nobody wants to date themselves.
Compatibility is perhaps the most important deciding factor for any relationship’s continuance or dissolution. If the two individuals have it in them to blend smoothly and complement each other only then can the relationship stand a chance. You may both love to stuff gol gappas at any given chance, but doesn’t that happen with each of your girlfriends, siblings and cousins too? While it is a common attitude to assume a couple is made for each other if they have same habits or similar psyche, it may not be the only thing to describe the complex attribute that is compatibility.
Compatibility is much more than surpassing tolerating each other and hanging out. You love to hang out with your best friends too but you may not always get along. While your idea of a romantic date be spending quite moments together at home, your partner may be more inclined towards sharing new experiences together in the name of romance. Thus they may want to go on a long drive, hike or whatever that makes them feel will connected to you. You may not understand their logic and they may not yours. But that doesn’t make anyone of you right or wrong. It only makes you two different. But the bigger picture to look at here is, you both have a common goal of wanting to be together.
Similarly, it is not just about having common interests either. As a couple you may have a fantastic chemistry and you may get each other very well but if you share the same places where you are less than perfect, that is you have equally comparable flaws you may still fail to bond as a couple. Take for instance if you both love to travel. You may have a great time discussing your adventures or even become partners in crime visiting the next place on your list together. But if you both have the tendency to run away from the things that platoon, since you may both crave adventure and stability may bore you then there is nothing in this world that can stop you from going to the second next destination on your list, alone.
Compatibility is thus, nothing about having common interests. It is all about respect, acceptance and compromise. If you and your partner have an open mind, are willing to give each other’s interests a try and are comfortable in letting them breathe freely in their own space too, your relationship can definitely work. You need to make amends and welcome their likes and ideas as well in your life. If you don’t get judgmental about why your partner doesn’t get up way too early morning and sweat bucket-fulls in the gym like you do nor do you pester them to do it your way then there’s a good chance they won’t roll their eyes either when you check your biceps every two seconds.
For any relationship to work the two individuals involved in it must also want it to work. You both have to put in equal amount of efforts to ignore your partner’s ideas or interests that don’t interest you and sometimes even go beyond your limit to do something for them that you think they would appreciate even if that’s not what you may like. Even if you don’t enjoy loud music, you can arrange a surprise for your beau to attend the concert of the (noisy) band he loves, if they do. Or you can go out of your way to get exclusive sighting of an an art collection for your creative girl, even if you think the Rembrandt who painted ‘The Night’s Watch’ and the Rembrandts of the ‘Ill be there for you’ from Friends fame, are both the same.
Your relationship can still be strong and going if there’s the spark, attraction and undying will to keep it together despite the interests matching or not. You don’t need to worry about any common grounds for your relationship to solidify its foundation in. You need to find the mutual passion that allows you to look beyond their superficially constituted interests and cherish your partner for what they are and respect their dissimilarities.
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Why Compatibility Doesn’t Mean Being Each Other’s Clones
Nobody wants to date themselves.